Clients have been blowing up our phones asking for #SHRM12 swag ideas.
The Starr Conspiracy is known for making a splash at events, so it makes sense that people are calling.
And trust us, we have had some killer ideas for our clients. We are amazing and outrageous — and we are effective.
Unfortunately, the process of creating brilliant concepts looks a lot like making sausage. It’s messy, bloody and someone always loses a thumb.
In the spirit of transparency, we wanted to share some of our rejected #SHRM12 swag ideas. Feel free to take one or two of these for your own booth.
HR DIRECTOR COACH PURSE GIVEAWAY
How much does each viable lead in our industry cost? Less than a Coach purse at an outlet store. Go shopping, buy last season’s purses in bulk, then tweet out, “The first 100 HR Directors or above to visit us at booth No. 666 get a new Coach purse. #SHRM12”
Clients have asked, “Why director-level and above?”
Those are the only people who can really make purchasing decisions.
“How do you ask them to prove their titles?”
You scan their badges. If it’s Director, VP or CHRO, it’s an Oprah love fest.
YOU GET A PURSE! YOU GET A PURSE! YOU GET A PURSE!
“I’ve seen this done at other conferences.”
No you haven’t. You’ve seen a raffle for a Coach purse. Big deal. We are telling you to give these purses away to people in HR with power.
“Isn’t it awkward to discriminate against people who are only HR Generalists?”
Coffee is for closers. Those HR chicks can get free Coach purses when they get promoted.
VEUVE CLICQUOT CHAMPAGNE FOUNTAIN
OH MY GOD, CALM DOWN! You don’t really put Veuve Clicquot in there. Good grief, people. You just say you do.
Women in HR can’t tell the difference. And keep some Tropicana OJ on the side because HR ladies like mimosas.
The average HR lady is 37 years old. She probably watched 90210, Melrose Place and quite possibly Buffy the Vampire Slayer when she was in high school. Want to make a splash? You can hire someone like Ian Ziering pretty cheaply and have him stand at your booth.
Narcissism wins — so take pictures and put them on your Facebook page. HR ladies will have to “like” your page in order to see pictures of themselves.
If you can’t afford a ‘90s star, hire a look-alike. If you can’t afford a look-alike, get some cardboard cutouts.
But trust us, the photographer will be more expensive than Ian Ziering.
What? You hate these ideas? What? Fine, whatevs.
After all, we are the experts in HR swag.