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Don’t Be a Creepy Creeperson

I haven’t had a ton of job interviews in my life. So maybe I just don’t understand. But despite my lack of experience on the interviewing circuit, I’d like to throw one piece of advice out there to the job seekers of the world: Don’t be a Creepy Creeperson. Specifically, don’t send food to potential employers.



It’s. Just. Weird.

I’ve never hired anyone. Hell, I’ve never even interviewed anyone, but after seeing this strange food-bribery practice in action, the only word I can use to describe it is creepy.

Well, desperate also comes to mind. It makes me think of Tobias Funke from Arrested Development and his decorative soaps he would send along with his headshots to casting directors.

Yes, we all like food. Cookies are great. So are brownies. Cake is also good. But food from strangers is different. Food from strangers is unsettling and slightly sinister. It just makes me uncomfortable, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.

And the bigger issue is this: Do you really think it’s going to work? Do you really think that if you’re up against someone more qualified that cookies are going to tip the scales in your favor? Really? The only scale that’s going to be tipping is the one on someone’s bathroom floor. Besides, is that how you want to get hired? Because you bribed some famished hiring manager who should really be watching their blood sugar anyway?

I just don’t get it. I know job hunting is hard. Work on your résumé. Go to that interview and give it your all. Let your awesomeness speak for itself. Maybe you’ll get the job. Maybe you won’t. But at least you won’t be the weirdo who sent the desperation cookies.

If you like to bake, that’s great. You can bring cookies and brownies and muffins to work after you’re hired. If you like buying baked goods and giving them to people, that’s cool, too. But do it after you’re hired. Because at that point, people will just think you’re nice, not a creep.

So until you get that job, keep your cookies to yourself.