A couple of weeks ago, I was having. a. day.
Have you ever had one of those days? Where nothing goes right and you just want to punch someone in the face?
OK, maybe it’s me.
I wanted to stop whining and moaning, so I thought about the things that normally cheer me up.
- Drinking.
- Eating nachos and ice cream. Together.
- Getting a pedicure.
I totally wanted to get a pedicure except that a friend told me about a woman who contracted Legionnaires’ disease from a local nail salon.
“What’s that?” I asked.
He said, “It’s like when a cat gets an upper respiratory infection, only for humans.”
I am not sure if that description is entirely true, but it sounds gross. I’ve had a cat with a cold and bronchitis. She sneezed green. No thanks.
So I thought about my risk of contracting a skeevy disease and started to worry. Nail salons are funky, no doubt, and I don’t want to die from a disgusting bacterial infection that is difficult to spell.
First world problems, yo.
Thank God I have good friends who talked me out of being a freak. Dr. Daniel Crosby tackles the hermeneutic of fear in his video titled, “You’re Not That Great: A Motivational Speech.”
I love this video. We fear the things we cannot understand. We are more likely to die from appendicitis than al-Qaida. Strangers don’t kill us; loved ones kill us. And we are more likely to die in a bathtub than from a shark bite.
Just don’t tell Discovery Channel.
So I thought about my new fear of nail salons and tried to put it in perspective. While I don’t want to contract Legionnaires’ disease, I do need to find a way to relax after a stressful day. In the end, I skipped the vodka and nachos and had that pedicure after all.
Out on the edge of glory. I know.
I also stopped by McDonald’s on the way home for a Reese’s McFlurry.
No fear, baby. No fear.
